I Love Spam! Especially When It Comes from Princeton Premier!

According to an e-mail I just received, I’ve been nominated for a prestigious honor shared by thousands of executives and professionals throughout the world each year, considered by many as the single highest mark of achievement, and they don’t even know my name. There was no salutation line, just this:

It is my pleasure to inform you that you are being considered for inclusion into the 2008-2009 Princeton Premier Business Leaders and Professionals Honors Edition section of the registry.

The 2008 / 2009 edition of the registry will include biographies of the world’s most accomplished individuals. Recognition of this kind is an honor shared by thousands of executives and professionals throughout the world each year. Inclusion is considered by many as the single highest mark of achievement.

You may access our application form using the following link:

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?309494-M62LlkxwLF

Upon final confirmation, you will be listed among other accomplished individuals in the Princeton Premier Registry.

For accuracy and publication deadlines, please complete your application form and return it to us within five business days. There is no cost to be included in the registry.

On behalf of the Executive Publisher, we wish you continued success.
Sincerely,

Jason Harris
Managing Director
Princeton Premier

Classic. I love it! So tell me, fellow bloggers (and readers), who among you has also been nominated for this prestigious honor? I’m sure there are thousands. That’s what my letter said, at least. Oh, and please respond within 5 business days. I wish you continued success.

PS – This is not the first time I have received this letter, just the first time I found it funny enough to write about it instead of just deleting it.

It might be "worth while" to learn the difference between affect and effect.

From my Inbox:

One suggestion I do have is to possibly get on a call with our president…He can talk about mold and its affect on allergies, and he can also provide solutions, with a VERY soft sell of our product (fact sheet attached). Let me know if that’s something worth while to pursue and I’d be happy to set it up for you (or the writer).

Manager, Marketing Communications

This Poem Really Had an "Affect" on Me. I Hope It "Effects" You As Well.

The following poem about preventing child abuse was recently forwarded to me. I hate forwards, especially those of the “pass this along …” variety. I especially hate forwards that appear to be written by eight-year-olds. Sure, the poem has a nice sentiment, but it is written so poorly that its meaning almost becomes lost. The affect/effect confusion is especially irritating, not to mention the use of the word “im.”

As a side note, passing along a poem isn’t going to stop child abuse. For more on how to prevent child abuse, visit http://www.preventchildabuse.org/.

My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong
I can’t speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren’t home
When my mommy does come home
I’ll try and be nice,
So maybe i’ll just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie’s bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I’m starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
“I’m sorry!”, I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor
My name is chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me top the soul,
And if you read this
and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be effected
By this Poem
And because you are effected,
Do something about it!
So all I ask you to do
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

I Could Care Less

From a manuscript I’m currently editing:

I pick up a magazine, but I can’t concentrate on that either. The latest fad diet or newest winter fashions seem so inconsequential. I have a long “To Do” list, but I could care less.

And to save time, I’ll just steal someone else’s words:

The expression I could not care less originally meant ‘it would be impossible for me to care less than I do because I do not care at all’. It was originally a British saying and came to the US in the 1950s. It is senseless to transform it into the now-common I could care less. If you could care less, that means you care at least a little. The original is quite sarcastic and the other form is clearly nonsense. The inverted form I could care less was coined in the US and is found only here, recorded in print by 1966. The question is, something caused the negative to vanish even while the original form of the expression was still very much in vogue and available for comparison – so what was it? There are other American English expressions that have a similar sarcastic inversion of an apparent sense, such as Tell me about it!, which usually means ‘Don’t tell me about it, because I know all about it already’. The Yiddish I should be so lucky!, in which the real sense is often ‘I have no hope of being so lucky’, has a similar stress pattern with the same sarcastic inversion of meaning as does I could care less. http://dictionary.reference.com/help/faq/language/g09.html

Apparently, the Brits really hate this American colloquialism:
http://spandg.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-biggest-english-peeve.html