Is This a New Cancer Treatment?

The following sentence is from an article written by a medical professional:

More importantly, the annual incidence of osteoporosis fractures is higher in prostate cancer patients treated with surgical or medical castration when compared to those treated without castration or with normal men.

This would be better:

More importantly, the annual incidence of osteoporosis fractures is higher in prostate cancer patients treated with surgical or medical castration when compared to those treated without castration or to men with no history of prostate cancer.

Now, wasn’t that easy? My work is done.